So I used to blog about my sex life a little bit on here, but it started getting me in trouble so I backed off. I decided talking about that was not worth the grief. However, since I will never see this girl again, and since I did the responsible thing in the end, I will tell you a tale. Please skip to the final paragraph if you do not want to read this reasonably misogynistic story.
So last night (Tuesday) I had one of the best dates of my life and maybe for a few minutes on the way home I contemplated what life would be like not single. I thought that I was going to get to see her again tonight (Wednesday) but I had no such luck. I was just going to go home and work on this website, but I heard LA Riots were going to be at Arlo and Esme so I decided to take a few photos. Around three I am getting ready to leave when I get a text from my friend Shwazye who is in town promoting his new record. I meet him over at Beatrice around 3:30. After looking around for a bit, I realize that I don’t know anyone there. I never go to Beatrice because they won’t let you take photos in there, and I don’t really see a reason to go out if I can’t take photos. Anyway, I was trying to talk to Shwazye but he seemed busy with this insanely hot light skinned black girl. I let him be and started dancing a bit. Moments later he sort of points this girl at me and she just starts dancing with me. She kisses me almost at once without saying a word. For a second I am convinced that she is a prostitute or something. She had the biggest softest lips I had ever seen. She kept trying to get me to grind my crotch on to her. She kept bending over and I didn’t really know what to do. She was pretty much nothing but tits and ass and I sort of wanted to do horrible things to her, but I was sort of bewildered to what the hell was going on. I asked her if she was okay and she just said “I am fucked up.” She sat down and pulled me on top of her. Her scrap of a dress kept riding up and she was spreading her legs and just sort of rubbing herself. These people next to us were so confused, and I just looked at them like “What the hell is going on?” I turn to Shwazye who meanwhile is with his own lady friend, and he just starts laughing and tells her to suck my dick. She snaps back “I don’t do that!” and then proceeds to rub her giant boobs all over my face while I am laughing. Her boobs kept coming out of her dress but at this point no one is looking. It is when she sits in my lap and spreads her legs and puts them over my shoulder and starts clamping her legs around my head that people start looking. She is just smacking me in the head with her thighs and pretty much everyone in the place is staring at us, and I am just looking at them bewildered. At this point she hasn’t even told me her name despite my attempts at finding out. Everyone just starts clapping and hooting. She asks me to take her home with me. I told her that despite how insanely hot she was, that she was far too drunk for me to take her home. I needed to get out of there though. Shwazye was leaving so I tried to go, but she could barely stand and I couldn’t figure out who she was with so I helped her down the stairs and into the street. She kept wanting to smoke weed with me, but I told her I didn’t smoke. She sort of started crying a little bit and the she would start laughing. I eventually got her a cab and when I put her inside she just kept telling me that she loved me. I sort of think I loved her too. I gave her my card and told her “If you remember any of this, call me one day.” and I walked away. I still don’t know her name. Shwayze took some pictures, maybe I will share them one day.
Okay, now that yarn has been woven, let’s get into some site news. As you may have noticed, updates have been scant, but that does not mean I have not been working. I have been working on this video project with DayRobber and we are just about done with three pilot episodes that we are going to be pitching to advertisers. If someone signs on, then these videos are going to go live once a week or something. I have spent the last three days getting more videos for the next batch of episodes. So if you see me out this week, tell me an amazing story on camera and maybe you will make the cut. I have some updates in the works, like the photos from tonight and some Krames press shots that were never published. Nothing too exciting, but fuck, I am busy. Hire me for something so I can quit my day job. Also, I might be looking for a roommate starting in October, but I probably don’t want it to be you. Lastly, this video is amazing, I have been wanting a reason to post it, so thanks to this contentless update, it is yours.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMZfdCkYPig[/youtube]
