I just wanted to give a shout out to this bar called Third And Long that I have been to the last couple of Sundays. As you should know by now I am a huge fan of the Miami Dolphins. I have spent the last two years watching football with the Two Michelles at this Patriots bar called the Hairy Monk. I always hated it but they are really the only Dolphins fans I know, and we had our own corner. Last weekend though we were given word of a spot just up the street where Dolphins fans were gathering. That bar is Third And Long. Last week I thought the Michelles were at the game in Toronto. But Tall Michelle called me in the second quarter to tell me that only short was in Toronto and she was at this newly established Dolphins hang out. I jumped in a cab at half time and ended up making it all the way from Brooklyn to 3rd and 35th in about 20 min and only missed two plays. The bar was great and the Dolphins fans were dominant. We had our own section and I cheered till I lost my voice. That was two weeks ago.

On this past Sunday I woke up so excited to make it to Third And Long. When I got there it was only Dolphins fans. Short Michelle had made a big sign for us and we settled in to a loud and exciting afternoon. The Dolphins won again, that’s 7 out of 8 wins in a row. Two more and we are in the playoffs.   They were taking pictures of all of us and chatting it up. I think they were really happy to see a big crowd in there and of of the guys told us that since the Skins were pretty much out of the playoffs, he is jumping on the Dolphins bandwagon. We are glad to have him aboard. The only problem with the bar is that they don’t serve food so I had to get food during half time and bring it in. Yes, the bar is BYOF. Bring you own food.

I got a cheesesteak from Carl’s Steaks which despite being run by Jets fans is one of the best cheesesteaks I have ever had in my life. Best in NYC for sure. I am on a diet right now and had been good all week, it made the steak even better. Of course as soon as I finished my food a catering company came in and set up all this food in the back. The owner of the bar, just decided to buy everyone food. I had just eaten, and I am on a diet, but there were wings, ribs and pulled pork. Not to mention a bunch of sides and deserts. It was such a sick spread. I had to eat even more. I had 4 wings, 3 ribs and a lot of BBQ and coleslaw. Plus a cookie and a brownie. It was one of the great eating experiences of my life. And I still managed to lose like 5 lbs over the last 10 days.

So, LONG story short, Third And Long is my new favorite place on earth. They run a blog which my Dolphins shoes made the front page of (see below) and it is pretty entertaining. Also on Monday’s they have a recession special where you can get mugs of beer for $1. That is pretty brilliant. It makes me want to take up drinking. Speaking of not drinking; Since they don’t serve food, and I don’t drink, I feel totally guilty enjoying myself there and especially with all the free food. So I bought a Sprite and decided to pay $5 for it even though I don’t really drink soda. I hope maybe this blog will convince some of you guys to go there and spend money for me. I will be rallying more Dolphins fans so that will help ease my conscience.

Oh, on an unrelated note, which is going to be mentioned on an upcoming blog soon, I have a Facebook group now. You should check that out.

Okay.  So I am super behind on getting photos up.  I just have too much stuff and not enough time in my life.  Sorry I keep bitching about it.  I have a little text update for you now because I have had a weird weekend and hopefully the photos from Friday will finish uploading before I go to sleep tonight and I can hit you with that update.   So here are a few short stories.

1. Friday on my way home from work I was on the Subway and it was packed.  I got on at the 6th Ave L stop going towards Brooklyn.  When I got on it was pretty empty, but by the time we hit 3rd Ave it was standing room only.  A woman got on and had a bunch of stuff in her hands and I thought about giving her my seat, but I was working on an iPod play list and I didn’t feel like moving.  A stop later I looked up and realized that she was pregnant.  She was really skinny and wearing loose fitting clothes, but when the train moved you could see her belly so I immediately offered her my seat.  She refused to take it, so I went back to working on said playlist.  As we were going under the East River I she dropped her bag and I looked up and she was falling.  With one hand still holding my iPod I grabbed her with my left hand and caught her right before she went head first into the Subway wall.  I spun her around and into my seat and everyone gathered around her.  She woke up a second later and had no idea where she was.  She asked the guy next to me if she was at Bedford yet.  He told her that she wasn’t there yet, and that she had fainted and that I had saved her.  When she got to her stop she wanted to get off.  I figured we should try to get her medical attention, but I wasn’t getting off at that stop.  I was going to get off any way, but the other guy said he would help her off the train.  I figured she would be good with him, but as the door closed I saw them part ways and he just walked the other way.  I hope she is okay, it was pretty intense.
2. Saturday night I was on my way to San Loco to get some food at 330 AM and a couple was walking towards me.  They were the only people on the street so I was looking at them.  The girl, a completely average looking woman, from the couple looked back at me and right as I passed her, she barked at me.  It was bewildering.
3. I got a new phone.  The Google phone, the G1.  I think it will be sweet one day, but this version has a lot of problems.  It has a touch screen and a keyboard, but you can’t use the touch screen for any text, so that you are constantly having to open the keyboard in unnecessary situations.  It does not make any sense.  Also my photos look like shit on it, it doesn’t play iTunes files, and I so far can’t figure out how to make it vibrate when I get texts.  But there are a lot of things I love about it.  The Google Maps stuff is amazing, and once my contacts are in, it is going to be amazing for organizing my life.
4. I shot Girl Talk this weekend for the Village Voice.  Death Set too.  They were both great.  I will have pictures from that and the hot body contest from Rated X up this week.  As soon as possible.
5. I went to a sports bar in NJ to watch football at a Miami Dolphin themed bar called Miami Mikes.  It was fucking awesome.  I think one of the main reasons I am not getting anything done right now is that I get no sleep on the weekdays so I sleep all day Saturday, then Sunday is wasted by football.  My weekends are a blur.  But the Dolphins won and I got to be in a mosh pit esque scene every time the scored a touchdown.
6. On my way to Girl Talk I tried to park in a parking spot that I had no business parking in.  Some how I got in.  I had to do like a 20 point turn, and I bumped the cars a bit, but I got in.  When I got out though, I was in shock.  There was not even an inch on either side.  It should not have been possible.  These people walked by and were like “Man, I can’t believe they boxed you in like that! How are you going to get out?  And I was like, I JUST PARKED THERE! I AM THE GREATEST PARALLEL PARKER WHO EVER LIVED!”  For those that don’t believe my greatness, there is photographic proof below.  The guy said “You should take a picture!” and I said “What do you think I am doing!” and I pulled out my camera.

Hopefully one more update tonight…

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday.  I loved the whole week.  I love photographing the horrible costumes.  The thing is this year I am sick and there is no party that I am super excited to go to.  I didn’t do anything this week and while I am feeling a lot better, I just don’t really want to do anything.  I didn’t even get any paid work this year which was my number one reason I gave to one of my closest friends for skipping her wedding tomorrow. I couldn’t afford it.  But I didn’t get any real jobs, I missed work today anyway, and I am going to be a short drive away Sunday to work on the Obama campaign…  So fuck.  I am an asshole.  At least I got her a used knock off George Forman grill.  Although it is pretty gross.  Also, I didn’t get a costume.  I sort of wanted to go as sexy Sarah Palin, but I guess everyone else will have to do that instead.  I have a cow costume, a wet suit, an Obama mask, a John Kerry mask, a luchador wrestling mask, a silver tuxedo with tails, and a whoopie cushion costume.  I am not sure what to do with all that.  But I think maybe the cow costume paired with a fur coat would make for a pretty good hip hop cow.  I need to come up with some cow related rap pun.  Maybe MC Udders will have to do.Anyway, since I am sick I am just going to leave you with the really amazing Halloween update I did last year and a few trailers for some of my favorite scary movies.

A Few Of My Favorite Things: Things Zombies Do

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2WvVGr9PkU[/youtube]
Wild Zero

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6RBy56Rodk[/youtube]
Salo – 120 Days Of Sodom

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5JfIxtTS3c[/youtube]
The Butcher

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcqscKtxSB8[/youtube]
Bad Taste

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbWGigOfmGU[/youtube]
I Spit On Your Grave

So I haven’t taken any photos in two days mostly because we are in the midst of this CMJ into Halloween thing and I am not sleeping and I am getting sick.  That being said I did go out tonight.  I saw Nick and Nora which was just insane because every single location in the film I have been in.  I spent almost the entire movie just looking for my stickers (I think I saw two, I need to get the DVD).  I then went to see some comedy and saw Eugene Mirman and Jessi Klein.  I talked to her for like 30 minutes about the election.  That was good.  After an earlier conversation today with my college roommate who told me he was “undecided” it was good to talk to someone as obsessed with this election as I am.  She’s also really cute.  I then stopped into Annex for Joey Nova’s 40th birthday which was sort of insane.  (The fact that he is 40, not the party.)  Then I went to AK for my friend Nessa’s birthday.  The Real World cast was there again.  I didn’t take any photos this time but I did talk to Chet for a bit about his media drama and it was suggested to me that one of the most attractive females on the cast is actually a transvestite.  Then it was on to Happy Endings for a few minutes and then home.  Anyway, none of that is very exciting, but was mildly exciting was the super villain the Joker beating up a homeless man… or something to that effect.

Between Annex and AK I was walking up Ave A when I see a skinny guy with his face made up to look like the Joker.  He was yelling at what appeared to be a homeless man to give back his money.  I thought this man might have mugged the Joker, but it did not seem to be very successful.   As I walked by someone pushed someone and then the Joker took off his jacket and put up his dukes like he was a boxer from the 1880’s.  The homeless man did the same and they started swinging wildly at each other.  No one came near connecting.  I really thought the homeless guy was going to beat this dude silly, but it appeared as if neither was going to do any damage.  After a few more wild misses the Joker tackled the other guy into a fire hydrant and began punching haphazardly at the man’s face screaming “GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!” After about 10 punches to the face the man on the ground started saying “I’ll give it back! Stop! Stop!”  The Joker let him up for a second only to flip him over and start punching him in the back of the head.  After I realized he was not going to stop I started to walk towards them to break it up when he let the guy up.  The guy was pretty dazed, but considering he took about 30 punches to the head he doing pretty good.  He started to take money out of his pocket which totaled two dollars.  Then he kept apologizing and, get this, they actually hugged.  The 70 year old toothless crackhead who was watching the fight with me came up to me and said “Can you believe all that was for two dollars!” And started cackling mightily.  I laughed with him for a minute and made my way up the street.  As for my best guess to what happened, the Joker had a girl with him who he said was his wife at some point during all this.  I think he may have given the guy two bucks, and then the guy said something about his wife, he demanded the money back and it was on… but that is pure speculation.  I have no real idea what happened, but it was fucking amazing.

I wish I had my video camera, because I would have been able to post some crazy ass Bum Fights style shit, instead of this video…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgk9ouBuj-4[/youtube]

Well this week was the biggest waste of time in my life.  I was going to go to LA if I could get the plane tickets for free, I did not.  I was going to go to Chicago and just pay for the tickets, but I did not.  I was going to go to Philly, but I decided I shout get things done.  I did not go to Philly or get anything done.  I was completely excited about my new camera and I wanted to do all these photo shoots, but I only did one.  I did it a full week ago and I haven’t even looked at the photos.  I didn’t clean my room which is a disaster and is probably one of the leading causes of my complete inability to get anything done.  I am fully depressed, I haven’t seen my friend Joe’s new movie yet, and I have watched 18 hours of Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, which is not quality time spent.  I didn’t go out several nights and on two days I did not even leave my house.  I got nothing done on this site, and I didn’t even bother to pay my bills, not because I don’t have the money, but because I am too lazy to write checks.  The Dolphins also lost today which is quite upsetting in itself.  I cannot function as a human right now.  Starting tomorrow, my job moves to Jersey City which is most likely going to be hell.  I don’t even know where it is.

Oh, and on top of that I am having serious issues uploading photos to my server so the one decent update I do have you can’t even see.  I am fucking upset. FUCK.

Here are some links to entertain you with.

Kris’ Mix Tape For Purple Crush
My Favorite Election Blog
A Great Poltical YouTube Page
Planet Money Podcast
Ok, Ok… Some Nudity Too…

And lastly to end this awful update to end an awful week… here is a self portrait…

Sorry for the lateness… Here are photos from the Alumni sponsored edition of Girls And Boys at Arlo And Esme.  I am not really sure if anything happened that night because it was three days ago and I don’t have that sort of memory.  I just wasn’t blessed that way… So just look at the pictures and maybe you can make up your own story about the night, unless you were there in which case you have your own story probably.  Oh, there was a man dressed teddy bear there who fell down the steps when I came in but I didn’t have my camera out…

Due to some bullshit I am having some issues uploading photos to my site. It should be fixed some time tomorrow. So here is a nice random blog about a few things that have happened of late.

• I blew up a hard drive with all my naked photos. I have a hard drive filled with n00ds that I have taken that are both for this site and for um… “personal use”. I have that drive both password protected and hidden so that if I lose my laptop or something no one puts these images online or something. And like I said it is hidden and not really accessible so I only get it once ever few weeks/months to update and stuff. Anyway it had been awhile and I couldn’t find the right power cord. I did find a cord to my video camera which fit the hole. Unfortunately it was not the right voltage and now my hard drive is completely fried. I could do some sort of recovery but I am not sure that I trust a computer tech not to steal any of my images and it is really expensive. I sort of feel like it is better not to have those images floating around anyway, so yeah, they might be gone forever. I guess we shall see.

• This weekend I went to Hartford, CT to a hot dog restaurant/ Miami Dolphins sports bar to watch football. My friends Tall and Short Michelle work for the Dolphins and they went to the bar to do a video story on Woody’s the hot dog place and The Fish Tank the Phins sports bar. I went along to hold the camera, eat hot dogs, and watch football. The bar was amazing, the hot dogs were fantastic and the Dolphins embarrassed the Chargers. The Dolphins actually look like an NFL football team instead of Miami A&M. Evidently Woody’s is pretty famous for their hot dogs and I ate a Deputy Dog which was pulled pork, BBQ sauce and cheddar cheese. I also ordered a similar dog but I traded the cheese for cole slaw in traditional southern BBQ fashion. My pork/slaw dog was about the best thing I have ever tasted.

• My Friday & Saturday nights were spent hanging out with two old Richmond friends who have recently moved to NYC. I took them out for fun times rock and roll. My friend Mara and I went to Webster Hall (Pictures coming soon) and Trash and I went to Lauren Flax birthday and Ellen Stagg’s party on Saturday with my friend Sally. I feel like something interesting happened, but maybe not. I did get threatened by some latino skinheads, but other than that a pretty slow weekend.

• I have become obsessed with Economics since the recent downturn of the economy. I have been listening to NPR’s Planet Money podcast and reading everything I can about Sub Prime Mortgages, Naked Short Selling and supply side economics. I am actually quickly finding myself to be a socialist. And I think I may quit party blogging to become an economist. Maybe a rapping economist who gives shout outs to the FED and Henry Paulson. I thought of an album title “No Income, No Asses”. And if you get that joke, you are either an investment banker or as unreasonably obsessed with this Bailout as I am.

• I saw a grown man, probably in his late 20’s, African American, seemingly educated and a reasonable person engaged in reasonable conversation with his friends.  Suddenly he saw a subway ad that had a picture of George Bush on it.  He walked up to it in full view of the mostly full train and Sharpied out his eyes, drew a mustache on his face and wrote “BIATCH” on his forehead and sat back down.  It was sort of amazing.  It was like the most beautiful subversive act of protest.  “Biatch”.  It says it all.

Okay, that is all for now.  Hopefully I will have two updates of photos up tomorrow and some other random stuff in the next few days.  I have the week after this off and if I don’t go out of town hopefully I will get a lot of work done on this site, but if I do go out of town I am sure I will have some good stuff too. Indeed.  See you soon.

Oh, here is a recent shot of my underwear.  I just figured I would give you something to look at while you wait for new photos of sexy ladies.

So the other day I was reading the OLD archives of this site and found this really stupid website I made years ago.  It was called the FANTASTIC FEARLESS NINJA PAGE A-OK!!!!!!!!!! I did all these horrible drawings of Ninjas in MSPaint that were mostly based on these Hypercard cartoons that my friend Jamie and I made called the Kamikaze Kids.  We did these little animated cartoons that were based on these two ninjas who could kill themselves and then come back to life, so they were constantly doing it in order to win battles.  I would love to find that stuff but I am pretty sure I do not own any computer that can run Hypercard.  For those of you who are too young or too old to have any idea what I am talking about it was like Flash but for old school Apple computers and was extremely ghetto.  Wiki it.

Anyway, these Ninja drawings are amazingly stupid.  Check them out.

Oh Jesus.  I thought my roommate was moving out NEXT month.  He is moving out  THIS month!

I need a roommate.  One that will sign a lease and actually stay for a year.

Here are the cons:
No cats/ dogs.
It is $1050 each.
I really don’t want people over here all the time so I am looking for non-drug using kids who do something with their life other than get drunk at parties.  That probably excludes 90% of people who read this site.

Pros:
I live in South Willamsburg 10 minutes from the LES and from the East Village by train.  I live by the Hewes J, two stops from the city. I live by the Lorimer L two stops from the city and I live by a G train and you can get to midtown in 25 min via it and the E train assuming it is daylight hours.
The place is really big and clean and nice.  It is in a 100 year old building but it was redone a few years ago and looks awesome.  And I haven’t seen a roach in a year.
The neighbor hood is a Dominican neighborhood with lots of amazing shit that I thought only existed in movies: Stick ball, old dudes playing dominoes, little kids playing with fire hydrants in the summer.  it is very safe, pretty amazing, and not quite gentrified yet.  There is good food around and the bodega up the block makes some of the best foot long subs I have ever had in my life for 4 dollars.
I also own over 1000 DVDs and sometimes there are naked girls doing photo shoots in my house.

If you are from out of state, NYC is expensive, but Brooklyn is not.  Everything in my neighborhood is cheap as shit…. Except the rent.

Also I am looking for someone who does not have a lot of furniture.  There is a big room with a big closet for you, and if you have a couch I am all for getting rid of my futon.  There is also probably room for a kitchen table or a bookshelf in the kitchen.

I am a pretty easy person to live with, I have never had any roommates hate me or anything.  I’ve never really fought with anyone I have lived with, but I do keep weird hours and such.  I am mostly clean, and I expect you to be pretty good as well.

Okay.  In theory I need someone this weekend, but that is probably impossible, so if you can move in anytime in the next 33 days let me know.  Please let your friends know. I am freaking out.

They can contact me at igor@drivenbyboredom.com!

Also I might be looking for a sublet for just this month if I find someone who can’t move in until October, which seem likely.