I am a few hours away from leaving this city. I didn’t really do anything productive while I was here. I shot one party and one girl and got a bunch of free porn. Last night Day By Day took me to this illegal Japanese piano bar where the woman who owned it sang lounge music in Spanish. According to some people at the bar she used to be as big as Madonna in Japan. I am not sure if they were talking about the pop singer or the religious icon. There was a 6 dollar cover to get in and I had to buy a $5 water, but it was the water was insane looking and they gave us free pop corn. Afterwards we got very lost because everyone including the driver was completely drunk. There was some sort of insane argument over directions and we almost crashed several times. Madness. Here are some photos Dave took last night. I kept my camera at home. Below is one of their videos that they just showed me. Evidently 1.3 million people have seen it… yet some how I haven’t. Insanity.

The gang’s all here – Watch more free videos

I actually got some sleep last night, and I didn’t take any photos last night.  I am just sort of hanging out.  I think I’ll be shooting a party tonight maybe, but I am also sort of enjoying not doing anything.  Yesterday I went over to VividAlt and hung out with Eon McKai who is my favorite porn director.  He just kept handing me free porn… I don’t think I will ever be able to watch all of it.  Whoever checks my bag at the airport is going to be amused with the huge stack of porn.  I then went and hung out with my brothers friend Toby who is awesome.  We watched 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain and determined it to be the worst film ever made despite the appearance of such legends as Hulk Holgan, Loni Anderson and Jim Varney.  I think hung out with former New Yorker Lauren Foust and we drove around the Hollywood hills for like an hour after making some pit stopps at some hipster bars.  Good times.  I have nothing else to update you with though, so I apologize for that, but I will leave you with this 3 Ninjas rant I found.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNWnCSJB9kM[/youtube]

If you ever see me do karaoke which never happens, I will probably sing Viva Las Vegas as it is one of my favorite songs ever.  Now officially I have been to Vegas.  I left my house at 10am and I got to my room at about 930pm EST.  I had to wait forever to get my bag, get my rental car, drive the wrong way down the strip, get stuck in traffic, have to wait 28 minutes in line to check in and then walk like a mile to my room.  It was a very long trip but my room is actually 10 times better than I expected.  It is simultaneously the cheapest and the biggest hotel room I have ever stayed in.  And while it is hideously ugly and has terrible lighting it does have a big ass bed and a lot of room to roll around in.  There are 3 “tasteful” clown paintings in this room… I guess that should be expected when you are staying at the Circus Circus but it is still fucking weird.  I am going to get someone naked in here as soon as possible…. and since every porn star in America is here this weekend that shouldn’t be impossible.  Here are some quick shots I took in my room.  I am going to take a nap and then I am going to try to document some of this weirdness.

Oh, and just so this isn’t a throwaway post I linked these photos to some cool Vegas related videos.  Click them!

It sort of feels like a while since I have been to Happy Endings… the first time this year at least.  I was hanging out with my friend (see last post) so I didn’t do that much photoing… I usually go out alone for that reason, but like she’s okay, so it’s okay.  I did however talk to someone about doing a party, convince Antwan to help me with a photo project that doesn’t involve tits, and had a conversation with someone who cut off all his hair when he was drunk and when he saw himself the next morning in the mirror he almost lost his shit.  I also lost my lip ring on the subway so I think I am done with it for good.  I have had it for nearly 7 years so I guess it is about time to let that go…  That means I have had my lip tattoo for like 8 years now.  That is fucking sensational.  It still looks as good as the day I got it.  Praise Jesus…  Click for photos.

PS. On another completely unrelated tangent, my near complete lack of commentary on the current primary elections is intentional.  For those who don’t know, I have been very politically active in my life and am following the elections very carefully… I just don’t love any candidate yet and I am going to wait until this whole Democratic primary shakes itself out before endorsing anyone… my last two primary favorites did not fare so well…

OMG. I just like totally slept foreverz.  Wtf?  LOL!

I went to bed at like 8AM yesterday and I woke up at 11PM.  According to my calculations that is roughly 15 hours of sleep.  That is completely unreasonable.  I had a dream about Fred Thompsons mother building Legos that we were going to paint to look like Chocolate Chip cookies.

What is up with NYC?  Everyone quit doing anything fun for the Holidays.  I have done some nice hanging out, but no serious partying.  Other than New Years it seems like I have not shot anything in ages.  It probably will be 1AM before I go out tonight, but I know some stuff is going on so hopefully I will have some photos tomorrow.

Last night I was going to go out with a friend of mine who was in town.  She had a car but we were going to take the Subway because we didn’t want to park it but after we walked half way to the Subway we realized it was far too cold to be walking so we went back to the car.  We drove about 5 blocks but she couldn’t reach her friend so we turned around and decided to get some food while we waited.  Her tire looked sort of flat so she tried putting air in it while I bought us some snacks.  The tire didn’t look any better so I put some air in it, but it still looked bad.  We still couldn’t reach her friends so we drove back to my house and tried to find parking, but we couldn’t find anything on the right side of the street.  Right in front of my apartment there was  a spot but she would have to move it very soon for street cleaning.   We took it anyway and when we got out her tire was completely flat.  I had to change her tire in 10 degree coldness.  It sucked and part of the jack was missing so I had to make this makeshift jack thing and it took 10 times too long to do it and I was freezing my ass off for an hour.  We then gave up our plans to do anything in the city and watched Mumblecore movies until 6 AM.  Then she took a nap while I waited up until she had to move her car at 8.  Then we moved her car, slept 2 hours then she had to leave.  And I slept until just fucking now.

Next point:  I recently talked to someone who did not know the difference between a Democrat and a Republican.  She was a grown woman and had no idea who the vice president was, why we are at war or what a dictator was.  She seemed interested in knowing about this stuff so I tried to teach her some stuff, but every time I mentioned one thing I had to explain ten more.  She is not a dumb girl, she just has no idea of anything going on around her politically and historically.  In our two hour conversation I told her about who was running for president, WWII, genocide, Rwanda, Darfur, Desert Storm, the current war, Israel v. Palestine, South Africa, Gandhi, and Communism.  When I got to Communism I knew I had to give up.  How the Hell do you explain Marxism to someone in a casual conversation when they think it is “that bad stuff that Russia did”.  The scary part is not that this girl exists, because she was curious and I am going to help her register to vote and get her things to read and watch, but the fact that there are millions of Americans who are the same way.  It is terrifying to me.  This is why this country is the way it is.  We need help.

Speaking of presidents, here is a video game you can play that the for mentioned girl would not understand, but hopefully you will.  It is called Kung Fu Election and you can play Mortal Kombat with the presidential candidates… or at least eight of them.  I was really hoping to kick Mitt Romney’s ass with Denis Kucinich, but alas, that is not an option.

Okay, thats a nice blog to start and end the day.  I will try to sleep less and update more tomorrow…. cause I will probably be awake for the next 24 hours.  I’ll be productive!

PS. You would think when you spend hours crafting a human Tetris game you would get better at it than these guys are…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0LtUX_6IXY[/youtube]

So, I fucked up.  I woke up too late and had no time to update.  This will be the first time in months I had photos up the next day.  Sorry.  I did edit the photos I just don’t have time to upload and stuff.  There are some crazy photos.  Blah.  See you tomorrow, I gotta go… I’m late!  Sorry at least here is a preview…

UPDATE: It is now 10AM and I am just now getting to sleep. I am going to upload the photos while i sleep. So if you check this site and its after 11AM and you are seeing this image, the photos are up… just not on the main page yet. CLICK HERE and look at the last two galleries. I will update with stories and good pictures when I wake up… think 7PM…… kvlkfsd

I just woke up to way to a lot of responses to drunk texts that I sent out at six AM last night.  I thought I was pretty much sober as I was leaving Don Hills last night, but by the time I got over the bridge back to Brooklyn it was pretty clear that I was drunk and upset that I was going home alone.  I am pretty sure that was for the best.  I am just mildly hung over… no head ache, but I feel sort of sick and I am having trouble hearing for some reason.  There was about an hour last night when I was walking around with this HUGE Segrams 7 and 7 Up but not wanting to drink it because I was so drunk.  It was not that hard to take photos, but it was that hard to take GOOD photos.  It is probably best if I don’t make a habit of this whole getting wasted thing.  I am going back to bed, but I took almost 600 photos last night and I have a lot of stories and nudity and fun stuff for you, but can’t be awake yet.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybI34v-67MY[/youtube]

1. I downloaded Dookie by Greenday today thinking that it was going to be amazing again.  It was only okay.  I didn’t even remember any of the lyrics.  Total dissapointment.

2.  I am going to be drinking today for the first time in 7 months so look out.  I will be at the Don Hills XXX-travaganza.  Like I would possibly be anywhere else.  I am getting paid to take photos in drinks, which is a first.  I have also never photographed drunk.  Last time I drank I broke my point and shoot camera, god willing I will not break my actual camera today.  I hope to see you guys, I should be up all night.  Party forever.

3. I saw a dude unconscious on the ground last night.   It was sleeting last night and I was walking all over the city and just thinking about how happy I was in life and how happy I was to just be walking around the city despite the sleet.  I then walked around the corner and there is this guy in a pool of blood getting CPR done to him my a drunk girl.  He regained consciousness and sort of stumbled around.  The guy who hit him was just standing there talking shit.   This girl was crying and then the cops showed up so I left.  Unfortunately I did not have the balls to pull out my camera.

4. Last night I had a friend in town.  Last time she was in town she got all drunk and did all this coke and I just had to deal with her and it drove me fucking nuts.  So she was back in town and I told her she could stay at my house which meant I had to blow off plans with another friend.  They told me to meet them at Darkroom.  I waited around there for like an hour before they showed up and she was drunk as hell and falling over.  I asked her not to drink anymore but she went straight to the bar and ordered another and then proceeded to spill it all over her self and anyone with the misfortune of standing within five feet of her.  I went outside for a second and when I came back she was making out with someone in the corner so I went for my sleet walk as mentioned before.  When I got back she was gone.  Who knows where she stayed, but my plans were nicely ruined anyway.

5. I couldn’t sleep last night. Knowing I am going to get to drink today is like X-Mas morning.  I am totally excited and sort of scared that something horrible is going to happen like practically every other time I’ve had anything to drink.  I just took another sleeping pill and I am going to crash for another few hours so I can stay up all night tonight.

6. Here is a photo of me the last time I drank on my birthday.  I made out with 22 girls in a disaster of depravity and disorder.  It is a miracle that anyone survived.  See you tonight.  Keep in mind I am a friendly drunk… just a bit too friendly….

When I was in Richmond with the Gaskets I was bored as hell in the recording studio because they were just recording guitar tracks over and over again and my in put is not valued. I just sat there working on an animated GIF of my chicken tattoo dancing. I then put it to music and made a meme out of it on ytmnd.com. Check that shit out here.