Hey, so I am in LA now after some crazy days in Vegas.  I had a pretty weird night last night s well.  The motel I am staying in has horrible internet and because I just got a new laptop I haven’t set it up to update my galleries from this computer anyway.  On top of that I have been pretty crazy busy.  Anyway, all of this is to say I am sorry, but I will be back to my old tricks soon.  I get back to NYC tomorrow night so you should expect the site rolling again by Thursday.  I have 5 galleries so far from the trip and hopefully I can get another one or two done today so the site should be pretty busy soon.

In the mean time, you can check out one of the galleries on the Village Voice who I am working for out here. It is of the AVN Awards red carpet. Ill repost it on my site when I get back, but at least it will give you something to look at in the mean time.  Also something to look at is one of the most amazing compilations of people hurting themselves I have ever seen.  I would want to watch it over and over again, but at 7 minutes it’s pretty hard to get through more than 10 or 20 times.  But watching someone fall into a grave and have a coffin crush them underneath while mourners scream in the background is one of the most epic things I have ever seen. Yeah well, you are fucked up too. Don’t judge me.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNbpIwS_kCA[/youtube]

I am not going to do any top 10 lists or decade wrap ups or anything like that, but I think I should have a post or so looking back to where my life was 10 years ago.  I was in college at Penn State. I hated it. I was this punk rock kid but all my friends were ravers in the mid-late 90’s DC club scene.  I went to two parties that night a hotel party and a hose party at a spot called the Crack House.  I didn’t drink or do drugs so I was responsible for driving people around.  I also was really into wrestling for some reason.  I have a bunch of footage from that night, but the only thing I have online is this video of me and my friend Dylan wrestling at the hotel party.  I am pretty sure this was at like 10 PM, because I know I spent midnight and most of the night at the Crack House.  I think the most embarrassing thing about that era of my life was bad pants choices. Despite my punk rockness at some point after 1999 I started wearing raver pants. In the vid I am wearing ice camo which was made popular by this local punk band called the Infertil but in the context of the rest of the party they look pretty ravetastic.  Over the next year or two I bought at least one pair of JNCO’s and at least one pair of UFO’s.  Mistakes were made.

Once for Halloween I went as myself in 2000. I wore JNCO’s and the unfortunately tight He-man ringer tee that I am wearing in this video.  I also rocked SOAP shoes and a jacket with flames on it. It is almost too bad Y2K didn’t destroy me then…

Anyway, watch this stupid video of me wrasslin’ to rave beepin’ and then let’s hope that I don’t look back at my life 10 years ago and have the same regrets I do now.  Let’s hope the regrets are much much worse. Go out and kill tonight.  I’ll be the belligerently drunk guy waving glo sticks like it’s 1999.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Iye4sQ8s6A[/youtube]

So a long time ago I posted this video about teaching little kids how to cheat on tests on YouTube. The video went viral and I did an interview on Good Morning America about it and Bill O’Reilly played it on his TV show. To this day I get comments from people asking me to make more videos. Well today I was hanging out with my friend and I showed her all these comments so we joked about making a new video.

So guess what? Now there is a new video.  I don’t really know any other ways to teach kids how to cheat, but as a former petty suburban criminal I know tons of stuff about teaching bored kids how to be delinquents. When I was in high school I had a master plan of releasing 10,000 crickets in a shopping mall food cour on Black Friday.  I never did it although I was legitimately considering it. Years later I still had every intention of doing it but I just had not pulled it off.  Unfortunately September 11th happened and I figured doing something like that would have gotten me in a lot more trouble than it would have previously. So the dream died and I left the bio terrorism to the pros.

Today I bring that dream to the people. I made a really dumb video of me telling kids about this prank and jokingly encouraging them to try it.  Who knows, maybe one day some kid in Kansas will make my dream a reality because let’s face it… that would be fucking hilarious.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1uXPk8VlbM[/youtube]

Not sure how I managed to forget to update for 3 days. Its Christmas and I was busy. Now I am in DC and I might not get a lot done but I will give you some videos real quick and try to do a real update or two by tomorrow.All of these videos are from Greg Rutter’s Definitive List Of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On Ther Internet Unless You’re A Loser Or Old Or Something.  I had seen 95% of these but there were a few new treasures. All of the below videos are old favorites except for the top video which is pretty much my new favorite viral video ever.  The last one is pretty long but worth watching all the way through if you haven’t see it before. Enjoy them all and happy holidays.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJQ6LeKwHNI[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBgThvB_IDQ[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx-NLPH8JeM[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM[/youtube]

So you guys read about it, and saw the pictures and now here’s the video. My man against burger match with the infamous Beast of South Florida.  I am not going to say a whole lot about it since I blogged about it before, but here is a quick refresher.  I was in South Florida for a meeting of nerds who run Miami Dolphins websites. A bunch of us were gathered to celebrate the Dolphins victory at Kim Bokamper’s sports bar, when I saw the Beast on the menu. It was a 3 lb burger with 8 strips of bacon, 4 eggs, 4 slices of cheese and a stale loaf of bread for a bun.  You can read about exactly what was going on in my head right here.  And with out further ado, DolfansNYC presents… Igor Vs. The Beast.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucHdIBvAZEg[/youtube]

I am in Austin. I have been hanging out with my old roommate and his band. We took some pictures and saw a pretty sweet movie. The whole thing is been pretty relaxing, I think I am about to take a nap. I am in a hotel watching Gang Wars on the history channel. Hopefully I am going to shoot a Gods Girl later. Good times.

Anyway, things are going to be slow here for a few days, but I think I am going to get to post the XXL shots from last week and I have a video I think I will post tomorrow. So thats that, I miss you already NYC.

Oh, don’t worry, I won’t leave you contentless. Here are a few amazing videos to tide you over till my next real update. Xo.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k3oahdeYIE&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stDWNam7RtE&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-faCh8BUEts[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q18TEfOsosg[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtMji36lOQM[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhmiR18iGVg[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEhFC_bbZWw[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DAvjONnoac[/youtube]

I told people I would stop talking about football on here and Twitter for a while and the Dolphins had a bye so I held up my end of the deal for two weeks, but today three Dolphin events came together requiring a post.  I am sorry, but it had to be done, and when you watch the video below you will probably never be able look me in the eye again.

So let’s start with the easy one.  It’s Sunday and my Dolphins are playing the New Orleans Saints which somehow appear to be the best team in football right now.  We will probably lose, but if we win, I will probably be wearing my Dolphins sweater every day for the next week.  I can’t wait till 4:15PM.

Second Dolphin related event was that Daniel Baxter came out to our last game against the Jets because he lives a few blocks away from Third & Long the sports bar where we hold our Dolphins watching parties.  You have seen a bunch of his nightlife films on here and I asked him to bring his camera. He took a lot of footage of me losing my shit in victory.  He also filmed us a few weeks ago when we lost a game we had every right to win. I also lost my shit then.  Hopefully, he is going to combine the videos into some sort of sad documentary on the mental illness that is my obsession with the Miami Dolphins. In the mean time he sent me a little clip from the Jets game. The sound is pretty fucked up, but let’s just say if you know me at all, this is not something you want to miss.  For those of you who don’t know me, I am the guy who is screaming at the camera.

Thirdly today is the launch of DolfansNYC.com.  It took me months to convince four separate people to build a website for me for free.  As of a week ago I didn’t think it was close to ready and our second designer was getting married and had to quit.  Fortunately the DBB web guy Thadd, and the new web guy of another unnamed site I run came in and saved the day.  Thadd got the site up this morning and we are victorious.  I am pretty sure you guys could not care less about this fan club and fan club blog I started, but if nothing else it will give me a place to talk Dolphins away from this site and leave you guys naked people and party pictures which is all you seem to ever want.   But on second thought… you should check out the site anyway.

Anyway, enjoy this crazy video with painful sound… It is the happiest you will ever see me:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyKZ3dTi0hQ[/youtube]

This video probably won’t make any sense to you unless you are a fan of the Monkey Island series of video games. That being said, you still get to see someone spray a 2 liter of soda all over a really cute girl wearing a fake beard made out of ribbons.

I will try to explain anyway. I don’t play video games.  The last system was the original game boy that I bought using my saved up allowance money in 1987 or 88. That being said this game called Monkey Island was my favorite video game ever back then and they keep making new ones.  Every time a new one comes out I play it despite my anti-gaming policy. Tell Tale Games just brought Monkey Island back after a long hiatus and I have been playing it.  I was on their blog looking to see when the next chapter (The new game, Tales of Monkey Island is separated into 5 chapters) when I saw that they were having a halloween contest. I had no plans on entering as the prize is a video game system (and not a 20 year old Game Boy). But I saw some Mentos at the bodega by my apartment and for some reason it instantly gave me the idea of hosing one of my friends down in Diet Coke. In the Secret of Monkey Island Guybrush Threepwood (mighty pirate) kills his nemesis the evil ghost pirate LeChuck with Voodoo root beer and when I saw the Mentos the other day I thought that spraying someone would be pretty perfect. I went on Twitter and posted a message asking if anyone wanted to dress like a pirate and get sprayed with Diet Coke (masquerading as Voodoo root beer). My friend Samantha texted me within 5 minutes of the post and came over the next day. We thought since it was halloween it would be easy to find a pirate costume… it was not. We spent 90 minutes walking around Southside Willamsburg trying to find a costume and by the time we gave up and went super ghetto by taping ribbon to her face it was dark out. Luckily my neighbor OJ was home and we found a street lamp to stand under.

This drunken homeless dude kept interrupting us while taping screaming about Williamsburg, beer and weed. It was pretty intense. You will hear him in the video. After we finished he bought a beer from a bodega and chased us down the block trying to pour beer on Sam. His argument “It’s only Coors Light!” Touche.

So yeah, that is the story.  This video is super weird but the money shot is really worth watching.  I bust that Diet Coke all over her face.  It is pretty graphic.  It even got up her nose!  Enjoy the weirdness.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfc97TOpHxY[/youtube]