Michael Jackson Is Dead

No jokes. Michael Jackson to me is music. I was born in 1980. Thriller came out in 1982. When I was like 3 or 4 years old I got Thriller on vinyl because in preschool it was my favorite thing ever. I used to dance as a baby to Beat It. Off The Wall, Thriller and BAD are the three greatest debut albums of any artist in history. I don’t even care about how much of a weirdo he became, to me he is a legend.

I had planned two updates planned today but they will have to wait until tomorrow. I can’t do anything right now. The King of Pop is dead. Here are my top 5 all time favorite Michael Jackson songs. Although it is really hard to pick just 5.

1. Beat It – This was my first favorite song of all time. I once did a lip sync video to it while my friends had a knife fight.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqxo1SKB0z8&feature=PlayList&p=E6A076CBACCA51C0&index=2[/youtube]

2. Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough – This is pretty much the theme song for my life. It should be for everyone’s life.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_hz2am90Hk&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

3. Billy Jean – No other song can get me dancing faster. I hear that beat, I go nuts.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En-cHBv7UpA&feature=PlayList&p=E6A076CBACCA51C0&index=4[/youtube]

4. Rock With You – This song is still being remade over and over again 30 years later. It is THE pop song.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AulpHEa3GwU[/youtube]

5. Dirty Diana – I have never met someone named Diana without this immediately being stuck in my head.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Hg-IRZk4D0[/youtube]

And Bonus Hit:
ABC – The Jackson 5 have many many amazing songs to pick from, but there is no other song that kills it like ABC.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-16fDpOW948&feature=related[/youtube]

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Come Ovah

I am back in NYC and the first thing I am doing is shooting Katie DiCicco’s new video premire party at Santos Party House on Thursday.  It starts early at 7pm and ends by 10:30 so we can get there and then go do something else crazy after.  Should be a fun time.  There are a number of performances including Jasmine Solono who I have seen like 3 times now and impresses me consistently.   Plus Dances With White Girls will be there spinning and there is a pretty hilarious video flyer for it.  Check that out, and I will see you tomorrow.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KUEE_U3LVo[/youtube]

come-ovah-katie-dicicco.jpg

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Obama Loves Five Guys

Since I just paid $7.95 to use internet on my Virgin America flight to LA, I figured I might as well update my site on the way. This morning while I was packing I saw that the HuffPo had linked another part of Brian Williams interview of Obama where he just follows him around all day. It is basically an extended episode of Cribs only Brian Williams does everything he can to make questions about mundane aspects of Obama’s life seem like he is asking him why he just bombed New Hampshire. Williams often sounds like the host of terrible reality show where someone is about to get voted off the island. That being said, it is certainly and interesting, if not completely staged, look at the daily life of a burger eating, basket ball playing father of two who just happens to be the President of the United States.

In the most recent clip I saw Obama bought everyone on his staff (and Brian Williams) hamburgers… but not just ANY burgers… He bought them Five Guys burgers. You might remember me blogging about my love for the Five Guys in the past. Many of you New Yorkers have enjoyed the pleasures of their tasty burgers, but unless you have had one outside Manhattan I am not sure you can completely understand the glory of a Five Guys burger. When I grew up in Alexandria, VA there were only 3 Five Guys and two of them were 5 minutes away from my house in opposite directions. I grew up on these burgers. The are some of the best burgers on Earth. They are a fast food place with HUGE burgers that taste like a $15 burger in a nice restaurant only much greasier. The normal burger has two patties and you can put all sorts of stuff on them. When you order fries they just fill your bag with them. Normally 2 people can’t finish a large fry together. And the best part about the Zaggat rated burger chain is that is they are cheap as hell… And that is why they don’t count in Manhattan… Due to the rent in the city they have to raise the price of everything and a burger suddenly costs 7 dollars and you are dropping nearly $15 on the whole meal. All of a sudden you start thinking that if you are going to spend this much you might as well go to a restaurant and sit down and eat. It is mildly tragic…. Still supremely delicious.

Anyway, back to the president: He showed up at a DC area Five Guys and people completely lost their shit. Women were dancing in front of the burger joint as he left. It was pretty great. He came back and delivered huge sacks of burgers to his staff. And remember when the Right gave Obama all that shit for wanting some Dijon mustard on his burger? Well he is from Chicago. Ketchup is frowned on in the Windy City. Obama got his burger hooked up at five guys and made sure he didn’t get any damn ketchup on it. And he got a shit load of fries… and you know how much Obama loves fries. Brian Williams on the other hand ordered a burger with only ketchup. No lettuce, no tomato, nothing. What a coward. Personally I go with the Bacon Cheeseburger with A1 Sauce, lettuce, tomato and some pickles…

Anyway now that I have ruined the whole video for you… you should watch it below.

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David Carradine Dead

I am a huge David Carridine fan.  I have read his books, seen his movies and the only movie poster up in my house is for Deathrace 2000 which as far as I am concerned is one of the greatest films of all time. He is best known as Kain in Kung Fu, which I have never actually gotten that into.  I was introduce to him though his work on films such as Deathrace, Cannon Ball and the film Bound For Glory where he played a reasonably violent Woody Guthrie.  When he was tapped to play Bill in Kill Bill I could not have been more excited.  I thought he was fantastic, and his published diaries from working on that film are incredible.  It is one of the best books on behind the scenes film work I have ever read… and about 50% of the books I read are about film.

Carradine was found dead hanging in a hotel room in Bangkok today.  I cringed when I saw the news. I can’t imagine why he would have taken  his own life.  After reading his books, you get the idea he would not be the type of person to do something like that, especially with the late rebirth of his career.  According to IMDB he has 6 films in post production right now.  I hate to think of what might have happened to him or what could  have made him kill himself.

He was an amazing actor and will be dearly missed.  Enjoy these video clips below.  This will be my only post today in honor o his passing.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdWF7kd1tNo[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J7T1mzD8nc[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTypzOJfuAY[/youtube]

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Happy Birthday Me

I looked everywhere for a picture of me in a party hat.  That photo just does not exist.  I thought about writing a post about the crazy things that have happened to me the last few birthday’s I have had, but most of them involve me falling down a lot and making out with strange ladies.  I had a pretty great dance party in the street for my 26th and got kicked out of bars on my 23rd and 24th.  I got the hell beat out of me on my 22nd which was the only birthday since my 20th that I have spent sober.  You see the first time I ever drank in my life was my 21st birthday.  I had 13 shots of Markers Mark and while I did cry at some point, I didn’t puke, pass out or get hung over.  Since then, I have gotten destroyed every birthday and New Years Eve since (except for my 22nd).  Other than that I don’t drink at all.  So… the point being I am going to be drinking tomorrow and you should come hang out with me. If you are a cute lady, please come make out with me, if only for a second, as it is tradition. This is also going to be the first time I have photographed my own birthday, so hopefully I won’t break my camera.  I think I am going to bring out my back up… So please come to Trash tomorrow at Webster Hall. Mention this site for reduced ($5) admission at The Studio entrance. There is a 50% chance I will be wearing a wet suit and a 17% chance I will shave my head or something stupid like that. Fun times.

Here is the Facebook invite for more info.

And for content’s sake… here is a video of me chugging a beer… but you are going have to get through footage of me swallowing a hot dog and acting insufferable first…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX4cvDLSJbY&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

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Weekend Update

Fuck, it is a lazy Memorial Day weekend.  Everyone is BBQing and hanging out in the sun while I am sitting in my apartment working on shit that should have been done months ago.  But hey, at least it is done now… well some of it.  Clearly you have no idea what I am talking about but let’s just say that I am pretty jealous of my roommate being passed out drunk by 8 PM the last two days.  And while I don’t drink, I am envious of day time parties which I miss out on due to my sleep schedule that currently puts me in bed closer to noon than midnight (I slept from 1230-5pm Sunday).  Anyway, I am taking easy, not shooting much cause I have some partying to do this week.  I am hosting at Happy Endings on Tuesday and my birthday is on Friday and I am shooting the opening of the new Brooklyn Beauty Bar on Saturday for the Voice.  Plus I have to be at Dance Class on Thursdays, I am hearing rumors of naked black girls… And I am all over that.  Sorry for this rant, I am on very little sleep.  Before I get to the meat of this post, and it is slightly meaty, I just wanted to mention my birthday one more time.

Friday.  The Studio at Webster Hall.  I will be drunk.  I don’t drink except twice a year, and when I do, it is out of control.  If you have never seen me drunk, it is something to behold.  Let’s just put it this way… there is a reason I don’t drink daily.  That’s all for now.  Facebook invites and annoying texts, twitters and instant messages forthcoming.

Okay, so I have some videos to drop on you guys as I like to do from time to time and Memorial Day seems like the perfect day to do it.

Let’s start with the plug… Burning Angel recently expanded their brand with a bunch of new hardcore porn video sites.  Now while I like having naked girls on here, I try to keep this site way from actual porn because I get really sick of people who I have never met before asking me about the porn site I run.  I am pretty sure there is a big difference between a few boobs here and there and the shit my friends at Burning Angel are doing.  That being said, as part of the promotion of one of their new brands, BigBoobsAreCool.com they made a funny, safe for work trailer where my friend Misti (as seen on DBB) cures swine flu with her boobs.  That is impressive I think.  Plus talking about BA gives me a reason to plug my friend’s excellent interview with Joanna Angel.  So read that, and watch this, and sign up for this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NqqwaQa2p8[/youtube]

Next, let’s talk about torture.  This is probably not the paragraph you would normally expect to follow a plug about porn, but fuck it, it is Memorial Day.  Let’s get serious.  I am a liberal, and in my younger punk rock days, I was pretty fucking far left.  But even then, when I was at protests and talking bullshit about whatever crazy punk rockers talk about, I was still firmly a patriot.  Even with all the bullshit that is going on in our country I am proud as hell to be an American and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  So as a Patriot I am fucking incensed when I see us doing things that I believe are completely contrary to what America is all about.  Despite all the horrible things we have done as a country, we are still at least supposed to pretend to be the good guy, at least feign like we are taking the higher road.  This torture shit is fucking insane.  I think it is pretty clear if you listen to any reasonably impartial person that torture does not work and even if it can work, we shouldn’t be using it.  We are part of the Geneva Convention… We are America.  We DO NOT TORTURE. Even some of the most wacky right wing guys agree with me there.  Their disagreement is all about the definition of torture… and more specifically is waterboarding torture? It seems the answer to this question lines up almost exactly on party lines, with every single person with a (R) by their name saying it is not. One of these right wing talking heads is Howard Stern wannabe shock jock Mancow.  Mancow and I go way back because he interviewed me in 2003 about this site.  Now while I can’t stand the guy, I have to give him a lot of credit for putting his money where his mouth is.  Last week he decided to try to prove to his listeners that waterboarding was not torture.  He failed miserably. He lasted less than 10 seconds and instantly admitted that he was wrong and that it was torture.  And keep in mind while watching this video that this is not close to as bad as actual waterboarding.  He knows that he can make it stop at any minute… He has not been sleep deprived; he is not bound and blind folded and he knows that his life is not actually at risk.  Also keep in mind when you are being waterboarded professionally they put a wet gag in your mouth so it is impossible to breath or scream.  Now, after keeping all that in mind, enjoy this clip.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUkj9pjx3H0[/youtube]

Lastly, to end on a lighter note… when I met my friend Teddy (as mentioned in the last update, and many others) I did not know a damn thing about design, and certainly not about furniture design.  However after spending days and nights on the road, in the recording studio and just hanging out with the guy for 6 years I have had no choice but to become an amateur design snob. I find myself critiquing restaurant menus and yelling to myself about clothing boutiques not kerning their Helvetica. One of the biggest things that has rubbed off on me is his interest in modern furniture design.  Keep in mind I don’t have sheets on my bed, thrifted both my couches and am basically sitting on a milk crate as I type this… all the while dreaming of the day when I am going to own an Eames Lounge chair.  Teddy actually has an Eames chair tattooed on his right arm.  It is his only tattoo.  He got it for himself when he turned 20.  He told me when he turns 40 he is going to get the Lounge on his left arm.  Hopefully by then I will have one in my living room….  The below video is footage of the debut of the Eames Lounge chair.  It is an amazing interview with Charles Eames and is about 11 minutes of chair porn.  If you have no interest in this what-so-ever if nothing else watch them put the chair together around the 9 minute mark.  It is pretty sensational.

Okay, so that is it.  This post took me 53 minutes to write and I still haven’t added in the hot links yet.  This is what happens when I forget to sleep.  I write pages and pages of poorly written madness. Enjoy your holiday today.  I’m out.

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Photoblogers Solve Arson!

So from time to time I have posted videos from the Onion News Network. They are both hilarious and Peabody Award winning. More importantly, however, is that my little brother is the post production coordinator for them, whatever the hell that means. Anyway, this one seemed extremely appropriate to this website, plus my brother is in it a bunch. He is wearing a red brimmed hat and looking like a douche bag starting about the 48 second mark. Fun times.


Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

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Dear My Website…

It has been over a week since I posted party pictures, and although I think some of the recent updates have been pretty hilarious I haven’t really posted much of late. The combination of my SXSW burnout, being sick and then being out of town has taken its toll. That being said, I had a crazy weekend and I have three galleries for you in the can. I just have to wait for Inked to give me the shots they need for print so I can post the out takes from the NY Tattoo Convention. I have a naked Gods Girl for you that I need to edit and I have some crazy shots from Roxy Cottontails all night birthday party that I am uploading as we speak. I am shooting on Monday for sure so this could be a busy week. I just want you guys to know that I am not slacking off, it has just been a weird month. So, give me one more nights sleep and I will be back fucking shit up full time…

See you in a minute. Have another hillarious video until then…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiz4tfjSuPc[/youtube]

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This Is Not Punk Rock

I spent nearly a decade of my life as self described “punk”.  From the time I got a Black Flag album for my 14th birthday until pretty much I started managing a dance band in the mid 00’s I was DIY till I died… or something.  And one thing about being punk rock is constantly discussing what is and what is not punk rock.  This takes place in every realm of life from bands and fashion to colors (green is punk as fuck) and yard signs (Curb Your Dog is decidedly the most punk rock yard sign…).  So, as an expert punk rocker it is my job to help you guys decide what is and what is not punk rock.  If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments.  If you want to know what bathroom fixture is the most punk rock please let me know.  If you want to know what is the most punk rock thing to name your child (Vyvyn) I am here to help.  If you need to know which bubble bath to use, just ask.  I am here for you.  In the mean time let me show you some examples of what IS NOT punk.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnE9vjAvZJg[/youtube]
CM PUNK: CM Punk is a professional wrestler with a straight edge tattoo.  He then draws X’s on his gloves and seems to have a giant Pepsi tattoo on his arm.  In this video he talks about his love for tattoo art, which is ironic due to the fact that he has the worst tattoos I have ever seen.  Also, the CM in CM Punk stands for Cookie Monster… Seriously.  Brutus the Barber Beefcake was more punk rock than this guy ever was.  Go drink a beer you pussy.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EzI1PvKIfU[/youtube]
METALLICA
:  If Metallica covered Last Caress on Masters Of Puppets or something I probably wouldn’t give them shit, but post their battle with Napster, two of the worst albums ever released, cutting off their hair and doing a documentary about their group therapy Metalica might be the lamest band on Earth.  And how is that for a run on sentence… pretty impressive.  More importantly, why the hell would they cover my favorite Misfits song?  It has led to a conversation online about how its a Metallica original.  Fuck you Lars, you couldn’t have picked Eagles Dare or something?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1j0nr1vdGI&feature=fvsr[/youtube]
WORLDS TALLEST DOUCHE
: Here is a worlds record attempt for the worlds largest mohawk.  This attempt was to raise money for charity and the Legolas looking fuck who got the hawk gave all his hair to Locks Of Love… aww… Fuck you.  Nothing is less punk that caring about cancer kids.  So after getting two professional stylists to cut and comb his hair they put it up with HAIR SPRAY! That shit is going to fall in 10 min.  Use glue you bitch. I put mine up with glue and I did it myself, not with two stylists.  If he was really punk rock he would get a 14 year old girl with a chelsea to do it who is fucking everyone in his band.  Lastly, the comments in the video mention on three different occasions that he is doing this for the record not for the style… He has got to make sure everyone know that he would never really get a mohawk, because that would be silly, unlike his previous hair that went down his back and so gracefully covered his ass.  Eat a dick.

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