Cyber Monday is complete bullshit but maybe I just think that because I am terrible at capitalism. I feel the same way about consumerism as I do Photoshop, I hate it, but like maybe if I was good at it I would be more on board. I honestly have no idea, but I am here to try to sell you some shit anyway. Not at a discount mind you, because I am so bad at making money that my margins suck anyway so I can’t really give you a discount and I am not making enough money for me to care if you buy more shit. I just want you to buy it because I made it and I want people to have the stuff I made and I want to have less boxes in my living room.

So let’s get to it. Recently I mentioned my new zine Fuck LA and this mysterious project that I had created. Well, that project has officially been released and I have honestly sold most of them already (I only made 35) but it’s a callendar of people brushing their teeth because I have no idea why. 

At the end of 2017 someone emailed me about doing a calendar. Calendars seem silly because people have telephones now and because if you don’t sell them all my January first they are trash, but I had been working on my zine NOT SAFE and I realized I had a bunch of photos of girls brushing their teeth and I thought it would be hilarious to do a teeth brushing calendar and use a bunch of absurd anthropomorphic teeth clip art. So I found a place that does print on demand calendars, pulled and edit and found clip art. The problem was I only had 9 photos and I needed 12.

I immediately hit up all my favorite models that live near me and in two days I had shot Sabby, Lucy Everleigh and Sammy for the calendar. I was ready to go so I reached out to my friend Teddy to design the cover and throw some of the teeth clip art on there but he didn’t quite have time and we really ran out of time before Christmas so I put the project on hold for a year.

Last month I started up again. I had 12 photos ready to go, but one I didn’t really love and I happened to be shooting my friend Ashley and I asked her to let me take some of her brushing her teeth just in case and I ended up getting a really pretty black and white photo of her and the calendar was locked. I printed up 35 copies and bought a bunch of toothbrushes in bulk because I am a crazy person and here we are ready for you guys. 

The calendar features the four models I mentioned above plus musician/model Marz Lovejoy, pornstars Riley Reid, Stoya and Alexis Fawx, plus Anya Amsel, Kirra Hughes, Whit, and this girl Taylor who I don’t think I have seen since I took the photo and couldn’t find out how to contact her so she’s the only model who doesn’t have her birthday listed on the calendar. Half of the photos involve some nudity and 5 out of 12 photos are in black and white. They are all 35mm photos. The clip art is adorable. 

If you order a calendar it comes with a free toothbrush and a appointment reminder card because I am an idiot or brilliant I am not quite sure. Whatever the case it’s better than anything you can get from your dentist aside from healthy teeth and a more attractive face. Whatever. I am 100% sending my dentist one of these calendars too and if you have a calendar you can find out when my next dentist appointment is and then ask me how it goes when I show up for the appointment. 

Oh and I shot some digital test shots of Sabby, Lucy, Sammy and Ashley whilst I was shooting the calendar. I was both trying to figure out the best composition and making sure I had something in case the film didn’t come out, but fortunately it didn’t come to that because the digital shots are pretty bad. But if you do want to see the digital outtakes I uploaded them to Girls of Driven By Boredom so if you sign up for that you can see a bunch more of these photos. Also, you should still buy Fuck LA cause Cyber Monday or something. 

Click here to buy the 2019 Driven By Boredom Dental calendar!

If you are reading this I am in Los Angeles. I am in town for a few reasons but the important one is that on the 18th, that’s this Sunday, I am going to be at the Cultural Traffic Art Fair at That That Gallery. I will be selling my new zine Fuck LA (you should buy it!!) as well as Instaxxx, a bunch of other zines and prints and stuff. I am pretty psyched for it. 

That That Gallery is located at 4405 W Jefferson Blvd in Los Angeles and goes from 11am until 8pm. It’s completely free and there should be a ton of amazing stuff for sale there. I am splitting the table with my friends at Wood Rocket and they will have a bunch of weird things for sale like enamel pins, adult coloring books and new posters from vintage porn classics like Debbie Does Dallas and The Devil In Miss Jones. There are a bunch of great exhibitors as well including my friends at Paperwork NYC and rad publishers like Kill Your Idols and Richardson.

I don’t really have much more to mention in this post, but since I might not update again until after Thanksgiving (Gonna try and get some new pictures up this week but no promises) I figured I would give you guys something to hold you off. I took some photos of one of my friends dressed like a topless pigeon for some reason. I am not sure what I just said makes complete sense so let me explain. My friend asked me if I would take photos of her topless wearing a pigeon mask walking around NYC. We went to Times Square but it was raining so we went to Applebee’s like midwestern tourists and then finally took some photos of her topless hanging out with weird people who dress like the Statue of Liberty for money. The photos are real silly but she was happy with them and now you can look at them if you subscribe to Girls of Driven By Boredom. If you don’t then you are out of luck. It’s like $25 a year so I don’t know what you are doing not signing up.

I am gonna go hang out with my girlfriend now because we are celebrating our 1 year anniversary today. That’s pretty adorable right? Maybe you guys could look at the photos we ever took. I posted them right before we started dating officially so that’s extra cute. Sorry.

Okay, that’s enough. Here’s a flyer. See you guys sooner or later. 

I get it, you don’t care about these posts I do related to sports. You didn’t come here for that. Maybe you like football but you don’t care about the Dolphins or the fan club I run. Too bad. My guess is I am only going to post about them one more time this year, but it’s just something you are going to have to deal with. Sorry.

Because they are in different conferences the Dolphins only play the Green Bay Packers once every four years. Every eight years the game is in Green Bay. Green Bay is the smallest market in the NFL by far (only 100k people live there) but they have won the most football championships in the NFL. *Of course that’s because they are one of only three teams to have been around for 100 years and the NFL didn’t exist until 1966 and didn’t exist as it does now until 1970, and they’ve only won two Super Bowls since then but don’t tell them that.) Lambeau is one of the oldest Stadiums in the NFL and is a bucket list item for every NFL fan. Most of the seats are still bleachers and it’s home to the coldest football game in NFL history. The Super Bowl trophy is even named after their legendary coach Vince Lombardi.

Anyway, as soon as the schedule came out a group of us got tickets to the game and that group got bigger and bigger as the season went on. After people heard we were going they started asking us about tailgating options since we throw this huge tailgate whenever the Dolphins play in New Jersey so I kinda felt like I had to do something, but I was so busy I kept putting it off until we were about a week away from the game.

Fortunately a former Miami Dolphins beat writer reached out to me to ask about tailgating. He heard a guy named Ace had a great location about a block away from the stadium so I reached out to Ace to see what his plans were. He is the manager of a store called Extreme Audio in Manitowoc, WI (home to Making a Murder – I actually went to Avery Auto Salvage!) and asked his boss if when the Dolphins played the Packers he could use the Green Bay location to throw a tailgate. Extreme Audio serves as a parking lot during Packers games so his boss said as long as he could still sell the parking spaces Ace could tailgate there. 

It seemed like a perfect solution so I offered to buy 7 parking spaces that we could tailgate in as well as some money to pay for food. I reached out to Sailor Jerry and got them to send us some rum to make spiked hot apple cider. I posted on our social about the parking spaces and sold all of them in advance of the game in 24 hours and got the word out to hundreds of Dolphins fans who had made the trip. Ace did all the hard work and got all the food and booze and we went from a small tailgate into a massive event in just five days!

We asked everyone who showed up to throw in $10 if they wanted to eat food and although we bought a couple cases of beer it was mostly BYOB. In the end we raised over $1000 and donated $800 of that for the local Toys 4 Tots! Dolfans NYC is a non profit so we didn’t take any money back, but we gave the $200 to Ace for his extra expenses. Overall it was a great day (at least until the game started).

Lambeau was an amazing experience (although I wouldn’t want to sit in freezing temperatures on cold metal benches very often) and we even did a tour of the stadium the night before which was a lot of fun. I took a handful of shots from the tour and the rest of the photos here are from the tailgate the next day. If for some reason you made it this far you probably actually want to see the photos so let’s get on with it.

Click here to see all the photos from the Dolfans NYC trip to Green Bay and Lambeau Field.

I recently got invited to be part of the Cultural Traffic art fair on the 18th in LA and it seemed like the perfect excuse to get out to LA for the first time in over a year. It also just so happens that my girlfriend is going to be there right before the fair and today is our one year anniversary so the timing was perfect for me to actually see her this month. My brother lives in LA so my parents are gonna come out too and we are gonna spend Thanksgiving together outside of DC for the first time in my life I think. But the important thing (for the purposes of this post) is that I have some new stuff coming out and you should buy it.

The first thing I have coming out has nothing to do with the LA trip. Over a year ago I had a really dumb idea and the timing wasn’t quite right but I held on to this idea until it was finally ready. I just got a box of 35 copies of whatever this dumb idea is. I have already sold about a dozen of them without telling anyone what it is and I only need to sell about 5 or 6 more to break even so I feel like this dumb idea was worth it. Everyone I have shown it to seemed to really enjoy it so maybe you will too. If you order it before I announce what it is (on November 18th), you get a free copy of my new zine as well, plus I will ship it to you before I leave for LA and you will get it and the zine in your hands before anyone else.

Speaking of the zine, this whole post is about the 2nd edition of my zine Fuck LA. 

Fuck LA was a special edition zine that I only made 50 copies of for the LA Art Book Fair a few years ago. It sold out really quickly and was hand numbered and came with a print. I was pretty proud of the zine and when this new book fair came out it seemed like a great reason to republish the zine.

I figured I would maybe remove a few photos and add a few more, but when I looked at it again I realized that a bunch of the photos were reused in my zine NOT SAFE and there were some photos I didn’t love or ones I didn’t really feel like I wanted to republish. Even so, I left in some of the crazier shit that is way more graphic than any of the stuff I post on here. So let’s just say it is very not safe for work.

The new edition ended up being more than 50% new photos and I even added 4 pages. Fuck LA was my largest zine to begin with and now it’s 56 pages! I actually have to charge $12 for it instead of $10 because it’s so long. It has a ton of new work and I added some black and white spreads which weren’t in the original. It’s still all 35mm and it still has some of my favorite photos from all my trips to LA over the years. It’s got a bunch of nude stuff but it also has a bunch of just crazy fucked up LA stuff like the time I saw a bunch of people get arrested at gunpoint while I was eating at a diner. It’s a really fun zine and even people who own the first edition will enjoy the new one. It’s not signed or numbered and it doesn’t come with a print but there’s only 100 copies and I don’t plan on publishing it again. Plus if you pre-order the zine I will sign it anyway.

So if you order Fuck LA now I will sign it and ship it as soon as I get back from LA. If you order the mystery item you will get it and the signed zine BEFORE I leave for LA. Plus I will include some weird shit with it because I love you.

Click here to pre-order the mystery item and the zine.

And click here to pre-order Fuck LA by itself.

Over the weekend I went to the 2018 Exxxotica NJ adult convention. It’s an event I have covered way too many times but it’s always fun to see everyone and I usually get some fun shots in a random hotel room after the convention is over. The last two years I was actually working for Exxxotica because my friend Steve Prue is their house photographer and he needed someone to cover a few things for him. This year they didn’t need me but my friend Veda offered me a ride and the hotels were super cheap so I decided to go even though I was just shooting for myself. 

On Friday I spent most of the time just saying hi to people and introducing Veda and her friend Kitty to people and really just hanging out. I took maybe 20 usable photos on the first day. On day two I knew I wanted to shoot more so I spent most of the day on my own shooting and ended up with a decent gallery even though it was decidedly lazy. I mostly just shot my friends and then some random sniping when I saw good fan/star interaction. So here I am once again apologizing for my photos even though I should probably pretend I am the shit since most people can’t tell good photography from bad photography anyway so it doesn’t really matter.

Outside of the actual convention I think I probably got some fun stuff. The first night we didn’t get into much but I did end up shooting Veda and Kitty in our hotel room. I mostly shot 35mm stuff, but I did shoot a handful of digital shots too. The light just sucked so I focused mostly on shooting with my flash on my 35mm point and shoot and some black and white as well. Since the digital stuff is pretty mediocre, but the girls are fun to look at, I decided I would just make that shoot an exclusive to Girls of Driven By Boredom, so if you want to see them naked in a hotel room go sign up now. 

The second night was fun. I was waiting for a friend to hit me up about shooting in her hotel room, but never heard back so I was ready to give up and head back to the city when Veda got a text from someone telling her we should come by the Inked Angels Awards after party. We figured we would check it out quickly and then head back to Brooklyn. When we got there the after party was over but we ended up hanging out with a bunch of drunk tattooed porn peoples, got a White Castle Crave Case (30 burgers!) and ended up partying in Johnny Gash’s hotel room. That’s a horrifying porn name, but we were pretty much wearing the same outfit so I appreciate him anyway. I hope a bunch of the 35mm stuff comes out because it was a weird fucking night. We probably drove back around 3am or something and missed out on day 3 of the convention because I had to watch football because my life is weird. None of this really matters, but I still have a bunch of convention photos for you to look at below. 

Click here to see all the photos from the 2018 Exxxotica New Jersey convention at the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center.

The annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade was not actually in Tompkins Square park this year, but it was every bit as adorable as the last time I went. Apparently the parade was almost canceled because the NY Parks Department required them to get a huge liability insurance policy they couldn’t afford. Fortunately there was a crowd funded campaign and they raised enough money to continue the parade for its 28th year! And while it wasn’t at the usual place the East River Amphitheater seemed like a great location even though it was a long ass walk from the train.

Puppies are pretty much my favorite thing to photograph even though I totally should have kept one of the squeeky toys I bought for my Isle of Dogs shoot. Dogs are real hard to shoot when they are playing with other dogs, wearing costumes and being photographed by pretty much everyone there. Still, it’s impossible to take a bad photo of a good dog so I don’t think you guys are gonna be too upset about any of the shots. 

I was only there for an hour or so because I was shooting some behind the scenes stills for a new TV show my friends are directing, but I still got a ton of photos and it was a really fun and productive day.

Okay, I don’t have anything else to add to this because puppys are perfect, but I do wanna mention that I am selling a mysterious thing. It comes out next month and I don’t want to ruin the surprise yet. All I can tell you is that it is really dumb conceptually, involves at least some nudity, and if you order it before I announce what it is you’ll get a free zine that I am also not announcing yet. It’s a goddamn Halloween mystery and you can order it here!

Now click here to see all the puppies from the 28th Annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade at the East River Amphitheater!

A few months ago Scout was visiting NYC and she hit me up about taking some photos. I don’t really sleep at night and she had something to do until pretty late so I ended up getting to her hotel at like 2am or something. It was really late. She was staying at the Standard and all the rooms have an entire wall of windows so I was sort of hoping we could make it until sunrise so we could get some cool shots with the natural light.

When I got there the room was really poorly lit. My options were 1) no light 2) bright but ugly light 3) mood light. The mood lighting was the best option but it wasn’t really bright enough to shoot anything and it was too yellow. I had this idea to turn on the TV. I’ve used TV to light (or at least help light) shoots before and the Standard had this Standard TV station and they kept playing this black and white video over and over again which made for a pretty consistent cool light source. Between that and the big mirror I felt like we had something.

I don’t say this very often but I really like these photos. Scout is a great model and the TV lighting looks so cool. You can see us trying different things as we move through the set but we kinda nailed it from the beginning. We also shot a TON of 35mm stuff that I am sure is going to end up in some zine or book down in the future. I shot her in the bath and eating room service and all this stuff using my flash for the 35mm stuff and I was pretty happy with most of it. We never did make it until sunrise, but it was pretty much daytime by the time I got back to Brooklyn. 

This whole set was available yesterday in high resolution on Girls of Driven By Boredom. I also added a handful of photos from the end of this shoot where we were trying out different stuff and shots of her with the food and things like that. I just wanted people who help pay my rent to get some exclusive stuff so there it is. Go sign up now!

If you decided you don’t want to throw in a couple of dollars a month to help me keep going that’s fine too and you can go look at the small versions of these photos below. I still love you even if you don’t love me. It’s fine. 

Click here to see a bunch of photos of Scout at the Standard Highline lit with just a TV!

I got some new photos for you that are new in that they are from this calendar year. I met Evelyn in Vegas which seems to be the place I meet most people I shoot because of that whole AVN Awards thing. It sort of works like this, some cute lady on the internets will follow me and I will lurk them and find out they get naked on the internet and I follow them back and then a few months later I find out they are going to be in Vegas in January for AVN and then I hit them up or run into them at the hotel and say “hey let’s go take photos upstairs for 20 minutes” and then 10 months later you get to see the photos because I am so backed up with content that I never get around to posting anything in a timely matter.

So yeah, this is Evelyn Claire. She’s real photogenic. We shot these photos in her hotel room and we finished the shoot so fast I shot her again in her AVN dress so she’d have some nice photos in that so it’s really two shoots in one, okay, that’s not really true given it’s in the exact same place in the exact same room and she looks exactly the same in both shoots. And also there’s some photos of her in a leather jacket too so like is that three different shoots? No, of course not. So, it’s been decided. One shoot, three outfits, plenty of photos for you to look at.

Also, I put these up on Girls of Driven By Boredom yesterday so that I would have a good reason to promote my paid site because the network that hosts it is having a 30% off sale. So go sign up and look at these photos in high resolution and you will get a bunch of bonus explicit photos because I need to give people that spend money on my photos to have nice things that the rest of you don’t get. It’s only fair. Use the coupon “MIDOCTOBERSALE” for the 30% off but honestly I don’t know when the sale ends so if you check this in a few days in the coupon doesn’t work don’t blame me. The site is like $25 for an entire year or something so stop complaining. 

You can probably tell from this post but I am way over caffeinated so I am going to go work on some projects while I still feel alive so go look at these photos and I am gonna go be productive and everyone wins.

Click here to see the NSFW photos of Evelyn Claire in Las Vegas.

I met Rose Ryan in Vegas when I was shooting Raya & Goldie back in January. They were all staying together in an apartment they rented for the week, but Rose wasn’t around when we started shooting. She showed up late and after talking to her for a bit, I realized I had actually taken her photo before when she was staying in Vegas with some other friends of mine. Super weird coincidence, but not really important right now.

The next day we did a super quick shoot on a roof of a parking deck but I only shot 35mm stuff so you guys haven’t seen any of that stuff unless you are up on my other social media. I know I posted some to Twitter & Instagram. I loved the photos we took and we talked about shooting again one day and fortunately I just happened to be in Ohio not too far from her over the summer. 

We didn’t have long to shoot, but I think we got some really nice stuff in the hotel room I was staying in. I shot some stuff of her outside on the balcony but we took it inside once she got naked. I just backlit her and we got some really pretty photos that I feel like you guys will enjoy.

Rose and I just work really well together because there aren’t a lot of models who would just show up with no make up on and just be down for whatever. I just love the rawness of everything we have shot together. It’s pretty much exactly how I want to shoot and I feel like it takes some bravery just to be human in a photo. 

Oh, and as per usual, you can see some bonus slightly more graphic photos, in high resolution over on Girls of Driven By Boredom. Sign up already. It’s cheap. 

Now click here to see all the NSFW photos of Rose Ryan.