Since I am getting a bunch of traffic from Stereogum and Brooklyn Vegan for being the first person to blog about the Lady Sovereign melt down. I figure I should plug the bands I manage. Check out Greenland and the Gaskets ASAP.

Greenland is putting out an album that is very good, very soon and the Gaskets are playing in NYC this Friday at Galapagos in Brooklyn at the Crashin’ In party. You should so come out. In the mean time… enjoy this Gaskets video for Left Hand. Painted an animated by Ross of the Gaskets and edited my my little brother.

Oh man. These are so great. I’ve known a lot of tweekers in my life but they mostly just didn’t like being around bright lights and annoyed the shit out me because they wouldn’t stop talking. I tried meth “just once” and I never kicked my mom in the head, but I did talk real fast about complete bullshit for a few hours. Evidently meth is 90% about pimping your girlfriend out for more meth. Also, who smokes meth for the first time… like if it is the first time you are doing it, were the hell did you get the glass pipe from? Once I smoked DMT out of a light bulb with a bunch of heavy drug users, but none of them had any glass pipes laying around. But yeah, watch these adds, so funny.

So, as you may or may not know, I have an unhealthy obsession with the Miami Dolphins. And since this site does not want to hear about football, I have started another site called Bored With Losing. Check it out, and then check out this amazing rap video that appeals to people of all sorts. You don’t have to be a football fan to be shocked and awed by this video.

From Bored With Losing:

This is clearly the greatest thing to be ever associated with the Miami Dolphins. It is the number one thing that comes up when you search for Miami Dolphins. It is so embarrassing and way worse than the Super Bowl Shuffle. If you are any sort of Dolphins fan you have seen it, otherwise, enjoy.

Jesus.  It is about time.  I used to work for a company that had the worst stock photos ever for all their literature.  It was so funny.  They advertised on buses, and used actually employees for the photos.  I would be driving, suck in traffic behind a bus and I would just have to stare at my coworkers the whole time.  I can’t think of many things more annoying than that, but they both involve Maddox and lube.

My friend Teddy recently had an incident with a bag of potato chips. He forwarded me the email some weeks ago and I thought it was so funny I wanted to blog about it. However, he got a chance to post it on Design Observer which is frankly a much more important blog than mine is. So… he posted it there, so I am linking that post. It is pretty amusing check out his letter below, then check out the rest of the correspondence here.

Date: 4/11/07
Subject: Complaint About Bag of Chips

Dear Cape Cod Chip Company:

I am attaching a picture of the bag of your usually enjoyable “Cape Cod Potato Chips” that I bought today. The objects sitting beside the bag were its full contents. You will notice that these include a few soggy chips and a full, shriveled potato. What you cannot see is that the potato has a strange, vaguely-chemical smell, and the few chips, in addition to being soggy, are not even salted. Ultimately, the whole package was (rather) inedible.

Will you kindly send me a replacement bag of your chips? Please make sure that if the bag you send has any small potatoes in it, they are salted and odorless. Although I would prefer just the chips.

Thank you,
Teddy Blanks

CONTINUE READING…

So my brother, Benjamin Moses Smith, got his website up yesterday. You need to check it out now. He makes movies, and edits them. He currently works for the Onion News Network. Anyway, his website has a bunch of his films on it. My favorite is David and The Fish. You can check it out below, but the sound quality on his site is much better, so hit it up.

So I don’t ever play video games.  I hate them.  I have pretty much had no use for them since I beat Bubble Bobble in 1988.  However, for some reason I am addicted to a fake Role Playing Game online called Kingdom Of Loathing.  I haven’t played it much since I started doing this site again, but I still play when I get the chance.  The game is so stupid, yet so funny.  I have at times played hours a day.  All you do is click things and look at pictures.  I don’t know how it could be so addictive, but I used to be addicted to spider solitaire, so who knows.  The reason I am giving it this plug is I wondered if there was anyone out there who played it.  If you play it, or start to play it, email me your in game name and I’ll send you some free meat.  Yeah.

Anyone who is an old fan of this site probably remembers Chelle from Chellecam.  Her site is long gone, but she currently lives in NYC.  I ran into her at SXSW in Austin this year and again at Happy Endings last Tuesday.  Washed up minor internet celebrities partying together… how cute.  Click the photo for more images.

So years ago on this day of April when you went to my website you were directed here instead. That was pretty great. I didn’t think the site was ready for an April Fool’s post this year… hopefully next year.